Polite is just custom, as is secular or modern chivalry, the religious version, blessing of sword on altar, truce of God, orphans, widows protected from mayhem,
I think “Benedictio novi militis.” was the first time since the Roman era that soldiers became respectable. In fact,
in the late Roman period in the west they were also hated, that aversion essentially continued to the crusades.
Chivalry is a boy-word for doing the right thing in the right circumstances. It’s as patriarchal as the pigeon splattered statues of yesterday’s war-mongering classes in the park.
To each calling there is a custom. If one is lining up for a life-boat, that’s probably not the time to make a big issue out of it